Reality TV…the downfall of humanity

You know, reality TV is really not a new concept, it’s been around since the days of COPs which premiered in 1989 or even MTV’s The Real World in 1992. Some of you may remember The Real World and the crazy idiots that it was so well known for. For some reason though, reality TV didn’t really take off until the first Survivor hit the airwaves. I guess it wasn’t till then that some producer saw the ratings and thought “hey, people really like watching other people make complete fools of themselves!” Well he obviously shared this information with his producer goons in their secret producer lair and next thing you know, BANG!!! 500+ of the most horrible TV shows began popping up like crazy groundhogs on crack. That’s right, a huge pile of crap shows such as The Surreal Life, The Real Wives of wherever, Queer Eye, Project Runway, The Apprentice, The Bachelor, Jersey Shore, Bridezillas, and so many more I can’t even name 1/10^th of them. And they just keep coming! They’ll give shows to anyone and make shows about anything now, no limit except for whatever next dumb thing these producers can come up with. Like My Big Redneck Wedding for example…Oh my God!!! Really? Come on!!! Or You're Cut Off…I literally want to beat everyone of those chicks with a bat. I mean, who really cares about Jessica Simpson’s marital woes, or Paris Hylton’s stupid shenanigans, or who Kim Kardashian is berating on national TV? Well, apparently lots of people do because over the past ten years or so these idiotic shows have become more and more the hot topic of conversation around the water cooler at work. “Hey Tif did you see what Snookie was wearing on the show last night? O.M.G. she looked like such a skank! Giggle Giggle!!!” Everytime I hear any type of conversation like that I get angry enough to punch a baby in the face. I know, horrible right? How could anyone be so insensitive as to make me want to punch babies!? Here are my thoughts on reality TV programming…yes I said thoughts, as in more than one, bare with me here.

1. Why are the people that appear on these shows so willing to make complete fools of themselves in front of the entire world? Sure some of them are in it for sweet cash money prizes or for a more noble cause like not being big huge fatties anymore. But what about the rest? Do they need attention so badly that they’ll do just about anything for their 15 seconds of fame? Like American Idol for example, yes some of those suckers can sing pretty good, I’ll give them that. But then you have the loonies who wouldn’t be able to carry a tune if their entire families life’s depended on it, yet, they believe that they can sing!!! WTF!?!? What happened to these people as kids? I say they were all dropped on their heads at some point while they were babies and it shook some psycho part loose. And that tends to be the case for 95% of these shows…people, quit dropping your kids on their heads!!!

2.  Some of these shows are descent, a very small percentage. Shows like The Deadliest Catch, The Biggest Loser, The Amazing Race, and of course COPs is still a classic, to name a few. But even when a descent enough show does pop up they somehow manage to add the crazy into the equation. You get the occasional moron that turns the whole thing into a freaking train wreck. I know these producers are behind this. “Bob I love the idea of this show, it has danger, suspense, intrigue, educational and moral value and I think will attract intelligent people. It’s just missing one little thing…I know, lets add a cracked out freakshow to turn the whole thing upside down and inside out!!! Perfect!!!”

3.  Time to get a serious for a minute…Here is why I think these shows are terrible for the human race. Remember back in the day, about 2000 years ago, a little known empire called Rome? Yeah I figured you’d heard of it. Well, back then when Rome first started it was a pretty descent society taking all the good things from the nations it conquered. It became a center of philosophy, culture, education, technology and so on and so forth. But then something new popped up sometime along Rome’s history, the gladiatorial games. These made the mobs of Rome crazier and crazier as the years passed, spreading horrible influences to most who watched. Yes I said most, not all…I’ll get back to that. Well, these games were in fact the mother of reality entertainment. How much more real can you get than watching dudes rip each others guts out or lions feed on helpless victims right in front of your face? Now I know you are thinking “Alex you’re crazy, it’s not the same, they killed people back then, the shows today don’t do that, they are just innocent fun!” Well, yes and no. The similarity between then and now is that both (Roman Games/Reality TV) turn the basic human brain to mush. They both show a reality that is not really real, a reality that is created for entertainment purposes but that the idiots who watch it start believing and talking about like it IS reality! The mobs, then and now, become numb to it, start thinking about nothing more than it, start imitating it even. This is where I go back to my “most” comment. Not all people who watch this crap fall pray to its psychological grasp. A lot of us can watch it for the entertainment value of watching idiots making complete fools of themselves, laugh, and go on about our lives. But there are so many people out there who become so infatuated with these fucking shows and start living in their own little crazy world where the morons on these shows actually become role models to them. All they want is to dress like them, act like them and have their 15 seconds of fame like them! And no, it’s not just kids or teenagers, plenty of adults fall pray to the idiotic world of reality TV. Where did the games leave Rome? A once great empire shattered and broken because most of their citizens became brain dead zombies who could no longer function in a civilized society…America, hate to say it, but we are well on our way to having our own infestation of brain dead idiots walking around craving nothing but more Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

To close this very long winded rant, yes, even I am guilty of watching some of these things, what can I say, I love watching people make complete fools of themselves. It makes me feel good about myself that I’m not so stupid. And then when I’m done watching I get up, turn the TV off and go about my life, my REAL life. I don’t live in a sick little fantasy world where I’m going to go out of my way to eat, breath and talk about nothing more than these shows, try to become like the people in them or do anything to get on one of them. So wake up people and live your lives, watch if you must, but don’t let your brain become mush and turn into a reality TV brain dead zombie. Why? Because when the time comes and the brain dead idiots start to take over the world, it’s going to be me or one of the other few smart survivors who puts a high powered round through your skull. 

Like a virgin...blogging for the very first time...

I've been told by many people that i'm funny. By many people I mean mainly a few friends and most of my family. Ok like half my family. And by funny I mean more like slightly amusing. But that's neither here nor there, I think I'm funny and that's all that matters to start a blog really. See, I didn't decide to start a blog to entertain the masses, i'm sure very few people will follow this blog but whatevs. In reality I decided to start a blog because I love to go on crazy rants about everything that I think is fucked up in this world and boy is that a long list. I can't sit here and yell at people when I get angry, unfortunately. That and I get tired of yelling at the TV, computer, newspaper or any other media that is delivering news to me about how this planet is going to hell in a handbasket. So, instead of yelling at inanimate objects or having people think i'm crazy because i'm yelling at them, i'll write on my blog and maybe, just maybe reduce my stress level by a few notches. And hey, if I make at least one person giggle just a little bit, then that's cool too. So friend, welcome inside my head, please make yourself at home, and thread with caution.

Disclaimer: A rant is simply someone's opinion that if executed correctly can be somewhat humorous. That's all i'm trying to accomplish here people, to have word diarrhea and to try to do that with a little bit of humor. So if at any point you don't like what i'm saying or you are "offended" by anything I write then see that little red X at the top right of the page, click on it and go be a cry baby somewhere else. Or, even better, leave a comment with your own opinion, I love a good discussion.