I hate rude people. You know who I’m talking about, people who just don’t give a fuck about anyone or anything else and are just rude pathetic assholes. Yup, I hate them. But even the most rude person can be jarred awake by a nice, firm, “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!!” when they do something stupid like slam a door in your face or cut in front of you in line or whatever else. But when these same, somewhat unprotected rude dickwads get behind the wheel of a car, a transformation happens. They are suddenly protected in a magical safety bubble of steel and glass and become kings and queens of the universe and own every inch of road around them. How dare anyone drive in front of them and not get out of their way when they get up in that bumper like a crackhead on chocolate? Are we, the rest of the civilized population, too dumb to understand that an asshole driving inches from our bumpers apparently means that we should move and let them pass??? FUCK THAT!!! If there is anything I hate more than rude people is rude drivers. Actually hate is not a strong enough word…I loathe them! Anytime some jerkface cuts me off, rides my bumper, or just generally drives like an asshole I go into uncontrollable fits of rage and wish for nothing more than a built in rocket launcher on my truck. I want to pull these people out of their little car cocoons of safety and beat their face in, just for being fucking dicks. What gives anyone the right to use a 2 to 3 ton machine as a means of intimidation against everyone else on the road? You have no right buddy! Everyone shares the road; it does not only belong to Mr. and Mrs. Jerkfaceassholedriver. Now, in order to not sound like a hypocrite, yes, I am guilty of asshole driving myself. But this was when I was much younger. I’ve become more considerate in my old age. I will actually stop and let pedestrians cross the road without playing the points game. I’ll back off if someone in front of me is driving slowly and patiently wait for an opening to pass…so on and so forth. Driving like an ass is part of being a teenager and growing up I guess. But more and more I realize that some of the biggest asshole drivers out there are adults, like you and me. And there is no stereotyping when it comes to rude drivers because they come in every age and color of the rainbow. Everyone from the rich spoiled whitey driving a Lexus, to the soccer mom who is in too much of a hurry to pay attention to anyone else, to the wankster blasting Lil’ John and dancing in his car like it’s a fucking club. They are so numerous that we all know at least one, probably more than one. And guess what, if you are sitting there and saying that you don’t know any asshole drivers, then it’s YOU!!! Jerk! I implore all of you reading this; let’s take a stand against these imbeciles with driver’s licenses. If you see one riding your ass on the road, stay right where you are, slow down even, and do not move out of the way. Since this is one of the main asshole moves out there lets shove it back in their privileged little faces, it’s a good place to start. For everything else there really isn’t much else you can do except take several deep breaths, count to ten, and hope their fucking car blows up. Be safe everyone and drive friendly! :D
