If I fall and break an arm, can I sue God for making my bones so fragile?

Ah the American dream. It doesn’t matter what it really is, we all have our own little version of it. Most of the time this dream has something to do with a big house, nice cars, a fat bank account, a healthy and happy family, etc. etc. As varied as our American dreams are so are the means by which we try to attain these dreams. Some of us work hard and make an honest living. Some have certain skills that make them big celebrities. Some steal and sell drugs to crackheads. Some even just get plain lucky and hit that magic lottery jackpot, only to go bankrupt a short time later, but that’s a whole other topic. There is one group in the U.S. however that stands out among the world’s nations. This group is more shameless than professional thieves, more cold blooded than the richest big business tycoons, more cunning than the best investment bankers…they are those who love to sue. Yes, we’ve all heard of those crazy stories where you hear of people suing companies, people, businesses, whoever, over the dumbest shit imaginable. I believe it all started with that stupid chick that burned herself on hot McDonalds coffee and sued McDonalds for it…AND WON!!!! That gave a glimmer of hope to all these lazy good for nothing mother fuckers who just wanted to get rich quick. They started to realize that they could sue anyone, over anything, and it would work! Why? Because some dumbass bloodsucking lawyer would take the case and some crooked ass judge would agree to all the bullshit. I applaud those few judges who not only not take these types of cases, but also berate the dumbasses trying to do the suing. Where has this sue craziness left us as a nation? Well, lets take a look shall we.

1. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, has to have a fucking warning label on it now. Oh you mean a cup of coffee is hot enough to burn me, I’m glad you warned me because I never expected coffee to be HOT! Oh, you mean I shouldn’t try to use a hair curler for anything other than its intended purpose. Oh, you mean I shouldn’t put someone into a clothes drier. The list goes on and on.

2. Everyone is afraid to do their job now because they are afraid they will get sued. Cops are afraid to take down bad guys, paramedics are afraid to perform CPR, firefighters are afraid to rescue people. WTF!?!?! Have we become so fucked up as a nation that we’ll sue even those who are trying to help us?

3. The law suits get crazier and crazier. The whole “burglar hurts himself during a robbery and sues the homeowner” one…yeah, that’s true. Check this one out too:

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/dailyrft/2011/03/starbucks_sued_over_tip_jar.php

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!? Whatever happened to people just being decent to each other? I guess that shit doesn’t exist anymore. Nowadays it’s all about the dolla dolla bill, fuck everyone else; I’m going to get PAID!!! What is this world coming to? For all you fuckers that see a big red sue bulls eye on every single individual you see on a daily basis…say hi to Hitler for me when you see him in hell. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go sue Santa Claus because I didn’t get that ’69 Dodge Charger I asked him for last Christmas.